Sunday, February 8, 2009

I'm Praying

"Prayer is an acknowledgment that I am not in control" - Charlie Loften

So I have the fever. Thats right, BABY FEVER!! I have to have another baby. I wish I could express this need I have. The only problem I have with this is, it took us five years to have Piper. We had several miscarriages and they were HARD. Hard to cope with and hard to get over. I think that my biggest fear is that we won't have another child. That we will only have Piper. Don't get me wrong. I love Piper and if she is the only child we have we will have the best kid in the whole world, but I WANT more. I just have this fear that she will be five or six and we will still be trying for number 2. I have been dealing with this, no joke, since Piper was 4 months old. I was seriously the crazy lady that looked at my husband after 12 hours of labor with no epidural; 3 hours with an epidural, and then an emergency c-section, and said " I want another one". I know! I am nuts. You know whats funnier? MY HUSBAND AGREED!!
Anyways, my point is this: I need to pray specifically. I need to flat out say to God," I want another baby, Lord", and believe that it WILL happen. He will hear me. He wants to bless me and answer my prayer. Charlie Loften's sermon today was all about this. He made this statement about prayer that I love. "When threatened, do not fight God, instead call on God through prayer, trusting in His sovereign plan." Sometimes our prayers don't get answered, but we shouldn't start there.
I shouldn't start with saying, " what if I don't get my prayer answered the way I want". I should start with, "Lord, here is what I want, and I ask that you give it to me in your time". Thats it. Believe it will happen, and when it does, thank the Lord! He will answer.
I just really need to let go of my fear, and acknowledge that he has answered my prayers in the past. We struggled, but we got the perfect child for us out of it in the perfect time. Where is my faith that He will do it again?
Just wanted to jot some of this down. The message today was so GREAT!